Do you ever have times in your life where things just do not go the way you think they should? I am pretty certain the answer from everyone is a definite, “YES!” Let me be transparent for a moment. I have struggled with a perfectionistic attitude for probably most of my life.
Perfectionism
Let me explain. I function best when things are put in the proper place. My family can attest to the fact that there is a spot for everything. Having things clean and organized always puts me in a better headspace. I think A plus B should equal C, ALL OF THE TIME. Then there is my planner. I will just say that I want things planned out AND to go according to the plan. Can things just go smoothly and not break? What about keeping the routine on point? And, how about less fighting and arguing? I think you get the point. Since I can remember my teacher having to call my father to come to my 2nd grade classroom to console me after I made a bad grade on a spelling test, I’m pretty sure this perfectionistic mindset started pretty young.
Reality
Here is the reality. The fairy tale, perfect life where nothing breaks and everything is in order and happens at the perfect time does not exist. This reality has become more and more evident as my children have gotten older and have minds of their own. Also, it is evident as life has gotten busier over the years and the cleanliness and organization of my house has suffered. Then there are illnesses, unexpected circumstances that redirect attention, things that break, and plans that have to change at the last minute. If we do suffer with an attitude of perfectionism, these things can throw us out of a healthy state of mind and body.
Why
I have often asked myself, “Why?” Why do I struggle so much with wanting things perfect. Imperfections can make us uncomfortable. I am not sure about you, but I do not really enjoy being uncomfortable. These days society tells us what is beautiful, what qualifies as success, and how health and happiness should look and feel. When we feel that we do not meet the standards or measure up, we feel the effects of imperfection and feel uncomfortable.
Disappointment
In reality, when we put perfect standards on ourselves, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment and failure. Let me be clear. I do not think there is anything wrong with wanting things organized, clean, and planned out. I think those things are needed and healthy. The problem arises when those things fall out of line and we get thrown into a negative emotional state. That is what I have a history of struggling with. One scenario could be when we see that perfection cannot be attained, and we decide to give up. Another thing that commonly happens is that we beat ourselves up mentally for not being able to do something perfectly.
Our Thoughts are Important
You may be curious why a health coach is discussing the matter of perfection. The answer is that our thoughts on our performance and our mindset on perfection will have an impact on our health and happiness. If we assume that we have to incorporate EVERY healthy habit all at once and do it perfectly, we put entirely too much pressure on ourselves with a task that is not sustainable. We will quickly become overwhelmed and unable to achieve the small wins that will lead you to sustainable healthy habits for life. I can tell you that at 42 years old, with years of striving to incorporate healthy habits into my life, that I do NOT do things perfectly. There are missed workouts, splurge days, days I may not get enough water or sleep, and even days I miss counting gifts. What I have learned is that imperfect days and moments do not define me. I can give myself grace, acknowledge the imperfection, and allow it to teach me. If we beat ourselves up, we hinder our ability to learn from it and move forward.
Imperfect Progress
You have probably heard me say this before, but health and fitness is a journey of imperfect progress. Sometimes it feels like we take 1 step forward and 5 backwards. However, if we keep striving to move forward, those small steps add up over time. Then we develop healthy habits that will be sustainable over time. Mindset is key! We can look at imperfections as ugly, or we can embrace them as areas of improvement and growth. In our health journey especially, it is important to view imperfections as areas in which we can grow.
Be Kind
Be kind to yourself! It is the best way to set yourself up for moving forward toward meeting those goals. I am here to help you, so please do not hesitate to reach out. We can work through imperfect progress together!
