One Size Does Not Fit All

Do you ever feel like you are being pointed in a certain direction? As I contemplated the direction of this week’s blog, a common theme kept surfacing. A friend’s Facebook post touched on it. Two days later a similar concept came to mind as I was in church with my daughter. The very next day the same idea was discussed on one of the health coaching podcasts I listen to. Now this morning I awaken to a memory from a Facebook post quoting my oldest brother. Yes, that concept will be the topic of conversation for today’s blog. 

What do you think about when you hear the word growth? The definition of growth in the context that I am referring to is an increase, expansion, and progressive development as it relates to knowledge. We all know of people whom we would consider “stuck in their ways.” Am I right? The way they do things is the only way. If you do it another way, you are wrong! No questions asked, and no trying to see the other person’s take on the matter. That way of thinking leaves very little room for growth because that person already thinks they have all the answers. 

Several years ago, we decided we wanted horses of our own. It did not take long to realize that EVERYONE who owned horses had their own opinions of how to care for horses. It got very overwhelming. In that instance, we decided to heed the advice of a few trusted people. When we had questions, we would turn to them for advice. Then we would have to find the solution that fit in our lifestyle and our budget. We learned so much from those people. They graciously gave advice and allowed us to make decisions that would work for us. Then, if that decision did not work out the way we thought, they were still there to continue helping us through the huge learning curve of owning horses. 

It really does not matter what field you are in or what hobby interests you. There are lots of people out there to tell you the RIGHT way to do something. That is, their opinion of the RIGHT way. Sometimes they are right, and they know because of the learning curve that they themselves have been through. Other times, what works for one person may not work for another. There are so many variables in situations that have to be taken into consideration. 

That brings me back to the concept of growth. If we allow ourselves to be curious about the opinions of others and consider their point, we may learn from them. Vice versa; if they will consider the message that you are trying to convey, they may learn from you. This is a part of the concept known as growth mindset. Dr. Tchiki Davis says, “A growth mindset is simply the belief that our basic abilities can be developed and improved through dedication and hard work. It’s not so much that this belief is some kind of magic. It’s just that without a growth mindset, we don’t exert the required effort and so we remain perpetually stuck.” Did you catch that? A growth mindset does require effort. It also requires the vulnerability of criticism and learning from that.  However, if we are willing to work through the hard and uncomfortable situations and learn from others input, we can gain so much. 

Like I said earlier, opinions are everywhere. Different doctors will have different recommendations for treatments. One homeschool mom may think a certain curriculum is THE ONLY curriculum to use, while another person’s child may have struggled with that same curriculum. Different churches have various ways of worship. Some would not walk into the church that I went into on Sunday, but they would miss out on the excitement and worship that was present in that service. 

It is so normal to have opinions, and there is no reason not to share our opinions on certain things if others are open. The key is openness and kindness.  When situations arise, will we respond with a growth mindset? Will we accept the opportunity to learn something new and allow the other person the freedom to make the choice that works for them? There is not a one size fits all in this world. Everyone is different, but we can all learn from one another.

As a health coach, I feel that a growth mindset is vital for me. One reason is that there is new information and research coming out all the time. Another reason is that as I coach someone, we have to figure out the best course of action that works for that person. I am often asked, “Do you have a set program that you use?” Right now my answer is, “No, together we will come up with the individual program that will work for you.” This goes against many business building health coaching strategies, but right now that is okay. I’m learning to build a business, but most importantly, I want my clients to find sustainable change that is right for THEM and that they can continue after they finish their time with me. 

I’ll leave you with the quote from my oldest brother who passed into his heavenly home in 2020 and now has a true perspective.  “We’re always going to be wrong- we can’t know everything or have a true perspective on things. It’s just good to grow and change as our wrongness comes to light.” -Shawn Reeves 

Are you at a time in life where you need to grow as you work through lifestyle changes to better your health? Do you have questions, comments, or suggestions. Please reach out to me through our contact form to let me know or to schedule a free consultation. 

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